Homie. Lover. Friend.

Picking up those pieces + moving on is still something I haven’t quite figured out how to do when it comes to you and I. When you start to love someone so much that you lose yourself in that love, that is how you know it’s real. The love that cuts deep and the simplest thing sets off another trail blaze. Falling in love again and again, day after day, visit after visit: true love.

I never planned for this to happen. I didn’t come looking for you anymore than you came looking for you. You were my first true love, now and hopefully forever, my best friend. You’ve broken my heart time and time again but still I have never turned you away. I’m there for you when you need me, regardless of time or space. So why is it not returned? You said you loved me once. I’m not sure if it’s just me or the way that I feel right now but sometimes love really isn’t love. I will forever be your bestfriend. But I can no longer love you the same.

#homieloverfriend.

Reflections

Aside

It will never be socially acceptable in my book to tear someone down to wear their heart on their sleeve. I am not talking about being overly emotional either. I am just not the type of person to blow smoke up your ass. Some might call me direct, authoritative maybe even a little abrasive at times which in the right situation is necessary in due diligence. In my last three years through programming, I have evolved and transformed into a completely different person. Before I was shy and scared to take action; now I am able to walk into a room and command. I have put my heart and soul, [and at times my education] on the line to bring an almost dead organization to life. Many sleepless nights, many red bulls, many laughs, many tears, many friends and it has all come down to these last few months. 

I stand side by side with a group that has no faith in the work; years, months, days, hours and minutes I have dedicated tirelessly. – that being said, I’ve learned not to give up on myself + my dreams. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to go your own path to find your own happiness. & sometimes people aren’t going to just offer to help, you have to be willing to ask.

Appreciate the people around you; you never know what they are teaching you in that moment.